A loose screw.

(A short short tale)

It wasn't the first time I'd had the hots for Louise, she'd stirred my feelings on quite a number of occasions in the past. She was so damn sexy she could have drawn an erotic adventure out of an old football boot.

Lou (she preferred that) was only a tiny woman, big brown eyes, about five feet nothing and reputed to be absolute dynamite in the sack. Or least-ways from what I had heard. Looking at her now across the smoke filled bar I watched as she stared morosely into her drink.

It looked for all the world that she had the whole of the world's problems on her thin shoulders as she brushed away a slight tear that had threatened to undo her make up and run into her low cut cleavage, barely covered by her white cotton top. I felt an involuntary stab of being sorry for her, it wasn't at all like her to go down, in the metaphorical sense of the word anyway.

I watched for a few more minutes and then I decided to wander over and see if I could be of any help.

"Hi, Lou, how's things?" I'd never been good at talking to girls.

"F..k off, tosser!" She could be a bit forthright could Louise.

"Fer Christ's sake I was only askin', you look a bit . . . sort of . . . fed up."

"I am f.....g fed up. Not that it's any of YOUR business."

At least she was talking, I thought.

I scrabbled for something more that I could say.

"Can I get you a drink?" I asked. "What's that you have there?"

"It's Coke, but I could do with something a bit stronger. Stick me a vodka in it. Make it a large one."

"One large one coming right up." As I walked away to the bar I thought I caught her whispered aside; "I should be so lucky."

Whilst being served at the bar I looked back to the table and saw that Louise had got the attention of a couple of guys at the next table. I saw they were deep in conversation and then I watched as she kissed one of the guys full on the lips as he deftly took a couple of folded bills from her ample cleavage. Quite obviously a well practised move, I thought.

And then she pulled away and he and his companion left, as quickly as that. I took the fresh drinks back to our table.

"What did they want?" I asked.

"Nuthin."

"Nobody don't want nuthin!" I said, "What were they after?"

"I've told you, NUTHIN!" She raised her voice and glared down her flared nostrils at me.

"Louise, I know pushers when I see them. That guy, the tall one, he passed you a screw, didn't he?"

"So!?"At that point the quiet was suddenly shattered by a dozen cops bursting in with guns drawn. They had entered through all the doors and were covering any chance of exit.

"THIS IS THE POLICE! FREEZE! STAY WHERE YOU ARE, ALL OF YOU!" The orders came through a bullhorn.

Louise roughly grabbed my arm, spun me round to face her and kissed me full on the lips. Her tongue busied itself with my teeth and gums forcing the little package deep into my reluctant throat. I gulped, choked a little, and it was gone.

She withdrew her lips from mine but sat there with a quizzical expression on her beautiful perfect face, and then she . . . she . . . brought her lips close to mine . . . and we kissed again.

But this time it was a for REAL coming together of lips, tongues and souls. The electricity flowed between us like no other time in my life. I'd heard of love striking like this but had dismissed it as fantasy. It was like being struck by a lightning bolt.

After a short spell spent body searching me, Louise and the other customers, the police and their dogs withdrew without finding anything.

Though I did get one more quizzical look from some beautiful big brown eyes. This time it was from a jacketed King Charles Spaniel sniffer dog.

We withdrew too. Back to my apartment.

Louise REALLY WAS good in the sack, as our long and happy marriage proved it to be.

AWA