Let a stray.

Cat

We have a cat in our house it isn't ours, it shows!
She comes to eat and scratch her claws
she comes to rest and knead her paws
whenever we have open doors.
We have a cat in our house.

She's straightway up 't our stairs,

she's aware that it's taboo'cos
if she's ever found up there
she'll know it will be -

Shoo!

'Cos then we take and put her outside,
quick march,swiftly at the double.

It's at that point she'll realise and know that

she's in trouble.

This cat that comes to our house.

Then, she turns to make a mad dash in,

I'm determined that she aint gonna win.

The front door shuts with agreat big

WHOOSH!

but she's just sneaked back in!

That cat we have in our house.

At night she curls up on our chair

until its nine - or so - it's fair

and then out she goes

digging in her toes

after sniffing the outside air.
That cat that comes to our house.



NB. based on a poem by Maria Jane Williams (aged, not tellin')

According to my UK newspaper today,

fortune tellers are now forced to admit that there is no proof in their claims. Psychics must now inform would be clients that their services are "for entertainment only".

The Spiritualist Workers' Association says that: "We do not believe we are conducting scientific experiment. To have us stand up and say so is a denial to our beliefs. It is also sending out the message that we do not believe what we are saying and doing".

Fortune tellers at funfairs will have to display a sign in the form of a disclaimer at their place of work stating that their work is not "experimentally proven".

Lawyers say that spiritualists and mediums who claim to have the powers to contact the dead and faith healers offering cures through the laying-on of hands will also have to post warning on their websites. Anyone who is found to be breaking the law could end up in court and be fined up to £5.000 ($10,000) or land a two year jail sentence.

This measure is part of the biggest overhaul of consumer legislation for 40 years. Its purpose is to tighten controls on everything from door-to-door selling to children's advertising.

The new rules state that anyone offering a service must not be aggressive to buyers, engage in unfair practices or post misleading statements.An outraged clairvoyant, Lyn Guest de Swarte argues that it was; "Like trying to regulate God".

Well now, seeing as she has raised the spectre of God, shouldn't similar measures be taken at churches? Shouldn't churches be ordered to display notices outside stating:

"Our work IS NOT experimentally proven"?

and:

"Open For Your Entertainment Only."

Food for thought here!

"No legs" man CAN run in Olympics

goes the headline in my newspaper (Sun UK).

A man with no legs has been given the chance to compete for a place as a runner in the next Olympics. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm one of the fairest men I know, but:

Oscar Pistorius, 21, of South Africa, won an appeal against able-bodied athletes to take part even though he is a double amputee. Oscar, nicknamed Bladerunner, says that he is ecstatic to have been given the chance to compete even though other athletes protested because he had an obvious advantage over them. But the Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled, on appeal, that the high tech carbon fibre blades DID NOT give him an advantage!!! Eh!?

How do they KNOW that he can't run any faster with blades than he could without them?

Pistorious, who holds the 400 metre Paralympic world record at 46.56 seconds said, "When I found out I cried. I think that this day will go down in history for the "equality?" of the disabled people."

And I say: NO IT DAMN WELL WON'T!!

Unless ALL the runners can have the option of running in blades or any other device that will help them run faster, or even run at all! It makes no sense to me that if he can reach the Olympic qualifying standard of 45.55 he could take his place at Beijing this summer.

IAAF president Lamine Diack said: "Oscar will be welcomed wherever he competes this summer. He is inspirational!"

Creationist Kids Education.

Pillars of (SALT) community?

Children as young as five at an Ofsted-approved school are being taught that the world is only 6,000 years old and that sinners used to be turned into pillars of salt.

UK TVs Channel 4 Dispatches program gained access to a secretive school in Bristol run by the Carmel Centre which teaches a Creationist curriculum from the US.

Despite being registered by the government, the school for 5 to 18 year olds, treats the Bible like it's scientific fact.

Disturbing scenes show a bubbly teacher in front of a class of enthusiastic six year olds as she tells them that: "Before Jesus came, people who sinned, died. People who disobeyed would turn into a pillar of salt. So thank God for Jesus."

The Carmel Centre also believes that abortion and homosexuality should be made illegal, blasphemy laws should be reinstated and enforced rigorously and other faiths should be barely tolerated.

So, there you have it. They (the religious nutters) aren't all locked up in the loony bin.

ET Phone Rome.

I came across this little gem in my SUN today.

The gist is that the Vatican is now prepared to admit that there may be other life in outer space besides that life existing on Earth.

The Pope's astronomer, Father Jose Gabriel Funes, has admitted that God may have created extra-terrestrials.

I cannot for the life of me recall reading anything in the holy books about there being other life on other worlds out there in the universe. God is supposed to have created the heavens and the Earth and all life therein but there is no mention of creating life thereout! Come to think of it, there is not even a mention in the holy book of any planets being created by God.

Jose adds, "It is possible even if - until now - we have no proof. If we consider some Earthly creatures as; 'brothers or sisters', why could we not speak of 'Brother Alien?' He/it would also belong to creation."

You don't think that the Catholics - in the light of TV programs around SETI and the possibility that may lead to the discovering extraterrestrials -  may be covering themselves, do you?

It would be be wonderful to discover the existence of intelligent life out there and even more wonderful to discover that not ONE of their TV shows have religion as the subject. I would be the first to sing hallelujah to that.

So there you have it. After centuries of believing that the Earth was not only flat but at the centre of THE UNIVERSE and that THE INQUISITION and other forms of PERSECUTION of non-conformists et al, was a complete and utter waste of lives and time - the Catholics could now be conceding that we may not be alone after all!

May your alien god go with you.

Armageddon.

Evolution and the Master Race.


So, we humans have now reached a point in the course of Evolution where we can safely regard ourselves - somewhat smugly - as being the Master Race. We are at the very acme of life here on this planet. Apart from a little honing, here and there, we cannot get much better. This is OUR world and there is nothing and no one who can wrest it from us.

Unless?

What if? The Earth were to lie in the path of a huge asteroid or small planetoid that will destroy this planet and all human life - in seconds.

What if? A deadly disease is created, either by Man or Nature that cannot be combated and that NOBODY has immunity to.

What if? We are invaded by an alien foe that is far superior in every way to we mortals. An alien that perhaps is as strong as or stronger than a gorilla.

It has limbs that regrow, much like a crab's does.

It has a superior brain to ours. It can see as well in the dark as a cat and also has hearing equal to a bat.

It has five opposable digits on each of its four arms and each digit houses a retractable claw tipped with a natural deadly venom.

It can fly like an eagle and can see detail through eagle eyes and it can run like a cheetah, if it needs to.

It regards human flesh as a delicacy in much the same way as we like chicken or beef. It has no conscience so has no concept of right, wrong or pity.

We, The Master Race, would be doomed to extinction!

But wouldn't God step in and thwart any or all of this?

I doubt it. Believe me.