Get your digital TV fingers out.

Now that digital television is up-and-running,

would it be asking too much of the TV boffins to use the new technology to best effect?

Frinstance, I'd like a television transmission system that would allow me to control the volume of the background music. Especially during documentaries and nature programs, just so that I might hear the voiced commentary.

I'd like that same system to allow me to turn down the inane canned laughter on "comedy" programs while still allowing me to hear the dialogue. If I think something is funny I'll laugh. I don't need prompting.

I'd also like the opportunity to switch off the unintelligible punditry from the so-called "experts" that accompany sports commentaries without having to miss out on the actual description of play.

Lastly, I'd like to be in charge of the damn camera so that I would no longer have to suffer all that ridiculous: zoom in - pan - spin - pan - zoom up - focus out - pan left - right - up - down - jiggle it a bit - pass the aspirin, fragmented filming techniques that abound today.

But it could be my age I suppose.