Up the Revolution!!

Don't you sometimes feel that life is a little unfair. You keep your nose to the grindstone whilst at the same time keeping it clean and for what? Nine times out of ten you get undeservedly dumped upon from a great height. It was while I was musing on how unfair life can be that I hit upon the idea of rebellion. Not a dangerous and unfettered rebellion you understand, just rebellious enough to make a point. So this morning at breakfast I rebelled.

The new box of Weetabix informed me that I must OPEN THE OTHER END. I DIDN'T I tore into it at the WRONG end! Breakfast over I put our empty bean tin in the recycle bin without rinsing out the tin and went walking the dog in the park. When I'd finished the last of my sweets. I didn't throw the packet on the ground (I'm not that rebellious) what I did was drop it in a bin marked DOG LITTER ONLY.

I was on a roll, Back in the house I phoned the builders merchant and ordered cement and 10 bags of sand. Then me and the wife went shopping to ARGOS and I STOLE one of their biros. We also visited the local supermarket to do our weekly shop and after loading up the car with groceries I didn't take the trolley back to the pound. I just left it THERE!

We went back home for lunch and afterwards I relaxed in front of the telly with a few beers. But when the ads. came on I quickly pressed the mute button on our remote and turned away from the screen. Only now and again did I squint at the TV to check if the ads. had finished. Later I went a walk to the off licence for some beer and to take back some deposit-refundable empties and I have absolutely no intention of telling the tax-man how much money I got back on them. He can go take a running jump.

On the way back I was caught short but found a handy pub where I used their toilets WITHOUT first buying a half at the bar. Outside in the street and held up at a pedestrian crossing I started to cross as the traffic pulled up BEFORE the GREEN MAN and the pips started.

Called in the cafe and ordered a coffee and even though I don't normally take sugar I took THREE sachets of the stuff and slipped them into my pocket. I just didn't care. By the time I got back home the sand had been delivered. Instead of the TEN bags that I had ordered there were ELEVEN bags of sand. I won't be telling them back at the yard, they can go whistle.

Tonight, I shall go to bed with my wife as usual and if she wants to get amorous I will do my duty. But I will be thinking about the woman across the road while we are doing it, and I don't even like the damn woman.

The Rebel has landed. Up the Revolution!